...is what I lack extremely.

Today was the start of my Nihongo tutorial sessions with a volunteer from Mishop. Sure, I'm taking Nihongo classes at school, but I feel they're not enough to really improve my Japanese. I kind of feel sympathy for students of Gaba, since in a class of three (or in my case, ten) you really don't get a lot of chance to speak up. Hence, I signed up for the Nihongo private lessons.

We just talked for one hour and a half, and what my tutor said to me was I should be have more confidence in myself, and I shouldn't be too afraid of making mistakes, because if I always let myself be impeded by such things, I won't be able to communicate.

I remember myself saying the exact same words to my Algerian student, who always thinks that his English is not good, and that he can only talk in English to Japanese people. He thinks that he cannot strike a conversation with native speakers because his English is still elementary.

Self-confidence is something that I've always lacked, in whatever I do. People say I give myself too little credit. As for me, I don't want to be confident because I'm afraid of failure. Failure had, has and will always have a big impact on me. I always give my best in everything I do, but I can't say I am confident of the results. For me, if I don't carry too much confidence, then if I fail, I won't be too disappointed. I hate expecting, because if I expect too much, and things do not go as I please, then there's disappointment, which is an understatement, really. It's more of like, depression.

Why don't I just go out with Japanese friends, you ask? Why go all the trouble of signing up for private lessons when you can have "lessons" when you're out talking with friends? That just means you don't know me very well. Going out is not my thing. Sure, I go out sometimes, but that is to take a breather. I don't want to pressure myself thinking about school and serious stuff when I'm with them. Second, they're all busy. They may look oshare and everything, but they are still students of the Tokyo University. They take their studies seriously, and would spend hours in the library studying. They would even sacrifice days that would've been ideal for going out somewhere, just to study. Lastly, students who are always going out are those who love drinking. And most of you know that I DON'T DRINK. So there.

Okay, that would be enough rambling. Right now, all I want to do in my remaining months here in Japan is to improve my conversation skills, and I will just do my best to do just that, without expecting anything. My friends said that I have improved during the past few months, but I don't think it's enough. I have a goal I badly want to reach, and I must do everything I can just to be suitable for that kind of job. Oooh~ Pressure.XD

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I know that I won't be able to follow them anyway.

We were made to think of one word which will be our shinnen no ketsui or New Year's Resolutions, and write them down (using Japanese calligraphy, of course). One word to guide me during 2008:

Chinese people wrote their names in Kanji so I can't read them.>_<;; I was fascinated when I saw these in the AIKOM office that I had to take a picture and make a special entry for it. It was the first time all AIKOM students who are taking Japanese classes were in one special class so it's really memorable for me.

Skipping yesterday, because I can't remember anything significant happening.

Had another quiz today in Nihongo. It's vocabs this time. x_x

Then had the discussion class on third period. I was one of the assigned people to make questions for discussion. And uguu~T--T Anyway, the more important that I should tell you is that I had my first bicycle accident today.x______x It was raining and I was wearing my glasses so I couldn't see very well. I didn't bring my raincoat because I didn't know it was going to rain. Then there's this slope where at the bottom you have to turn left, I wasn't able to stop on time so I slammed on the wall, but not that hard. So yeah, I have a scratch on my hand now.x__x

The only good thing that's happened today was being praised in Nihongo class by Yoshida-sensei. Other than that, this day sucks.;A; *sigh* Looking forward to this weekend. I'll be able to rest~

Uwaaaah~ Tsukareta!!!

Yesterday, we had double Nihongo (like double Potions, yeah XD /dork). It went well for me, I think, because I was able to study the lesson the night before.=P The sakubun (composition) part was sort of embarrassing because I've forgotten most of the kanji I've studied, that's why I had to look at the denshi jishou (electronic dictionary) I borrowed from the AIKOM office. I really want to buy my own, because this one is really just a simple one. You just type in the English or Japanese word and it translates it to Japanese or English. Sore dake da. You can't look for a kanji character's meaning. So yeah, when I get my relocation allowance, after I send the Php40,000 to my aunt, I shall go to Akihabara and buy my own denshi jishou. I prefer one with an IME pad. =D

Next class was in fourth period, the seminar class thingy. I was assigned to lead the discussion next meeting. Actually I was asked to help Hide-san, and since everyone was declining the request, I simply said "ok" to Takada-sensei, and everyone went "eeeh~."^^;;;

Today we went to Asakusa and Ueno. Uguu~ We walked all day.x_x We went to Asakusa from Hinode Pier by boat, and then walked the streets of Asakusa. I got an omikuji and I got the luckiest fortune in our group. Ehehe~ Then took the metro train to Ueno and then walked agaaaaaaaaain to Hongo campus and another jinja. I finally saw the infamous clock tower and akamon of the Hongo campus!(^o^)/ Pictures here.:3

I was also able to meet my tutor, Matsumoto Kanako-san. She's a year younger than me, and gets lost easily.^^;; This morning, she was late because she took the train with the longer route in the Yamanote Line.^^;;;;; She's not that good in English, but that's ok since I'm not that good in Nihongo either. We can teach each other, ehe~ Too bad she's from the province, so she's not used to Tokyo yet (she's a sophomore). But we live in the same dorm so I can always ask for help from her.^.^

Too bad I wasn't able to join everyone in eating dinner in Ueno. I had to take our final exam for our Anthro 170 class, which I haven't received until now. They're all probably drinking right now... ii na~ I wasn't able to join our first night out with the AIKOM teachers, because of this.*sulks*

Just finished our Nihongo class. Uwaah~ I really have to review all my lessons before, because I can't keep up with my classmates. I was placed in Japanese III, by the way, which is the intermediate class. Viet Thi got placed in Japanese V, where all the gooooood speakers are. She said she was scared because she's not that good yet. Anyway, we're ten in the class: Ben from Canada, Wan from Malaysia, Shu from France, Max from Germany, Bernard from Singapore (I think), Andrew from China, Zeno from Switzerland, Lam from UK, me, and Nguyen from Vietnam.

Our Nihongo class is on Tuesdays and Fridays, 9am. So I have to leave the dorm at around 7:45am to get on the train at around 8:15, then get squished by people in the train and arrive at school at 8:45.

I also bought the textbook for this class, which costs ¥2400 (around Php1200).x_x" Nguyen, Wan and I are on our break now, so we're here at the library, surfing the net.XD Our next class starts at 1pm. After that, Viet Thi and I are heading to the AIKOM Office to fill out forms so we can get our stipend for October. I'm running low on money now; I only have ¥13000 left.x_x"

Wah~ I'm sleepy. Will edit this later.

Ohayou gozaimasu!

We'll be having our Oral Exam today... nuuu~;A;

Anyway, here is my address:

Mitaka International Hall of Residence
Bldg. C Rm. 314
6-22-20 Shinkawa, Mitaka, Tokyo, Japan
181-0004

Ja~ Wish me luck!XO

~*~*~*~

Am back to my room from Todai. I was able to go the station all by myself this morning! Whee~ I didn't get lost. Nyaha~!XD

The interview was... GAAAAH!!! I didn't know what to say. Really. The sensei gave me a piece of paper with a question on it:

What is the dilemma of most countries on the economic growth and development and environmental protection. Give your stand on this issue.

And my answer was like in three simple sentences with a "warui to omoimasu" at the end.x___X;;;; Uguu~TT-----TT

Anyway, will go to some shop later with Wan-san to buy a light thingy for my small bike. Poor bike.;A; Mine's the only one without a light.T-T I need that because fifth period is from 4:20 to 5:50, and 6pm here is really dark.T^T Oh, and bike locks. I only have one, and it's gay. The tutors said we need at least three so we can assure that our bikes won't get stolen.

I love the hotcakes sold at the Todai Co-op~ ♥♥♥

I'm currently updating this from Toudai's computer center. I'm really having a hard time typing with their keyboard. But their PCs here are all iMacs. (^o^)/

Took the train to Komaba Campus this morning. I wasn't squished nor touched by ちかん if that's what you want to know.XD

Also took the Placement Test a while ago. むずかしかった~ It was easy during the first parts but it got harder and harder.X_x" The last part of the exam was reading a paragraph which was like twenty sentences long, all with kanji I don't recognize. Didn't bother answering it.

Tomorrow's our Interview Test. Uguu~ Most of my classmates don't have a problem when it comes to that, because they're all on Level 3, I think.

がんばります！ Faito, Boom!!!(>o<)/

Here I am, in Mitaka Ryou in Mitaka City, Tokyo, Japan. Too many firsts in two days.

Flight

My first time in an airport. My first time boarding a plane. Alone.
I love landing more than taking off. That's all I can say.

Night One

Arrived in Narita at around 7:25. Too many foreigners. Was able to go out at around 7:50. A Massu-look alike was holding the AIKOM placard.

Two-hour drive to Mitaka Ryou.

Orientation: Giving the key to my room. Arranging everything Mhel-senpai left me. Unpacking some of my clothes.

Watching Terry's AVP, and crying... a lot.

All these while having a migraine attack.

Day One

Woke up at 8:30am to start unpacking everything I brought. Then took a bath and went to the Common Hall for our Alien Registration and National Health Insurance Registration. Walked to Mitaka City Hall. Randomly said "onaka suita" and Beatrice, the Korean who came from Michigan, laughed and said, "kawai sou" while patting my head. Yes, my last meal was from the plane. That was around 3pm.

Ate lunch at some cheap restaurant. Oishikatta. Sorekara, went back to Mitaka Ryou for our tour to Mitaka-dai Station. Went biking!(^o^)/ Took about 30 minutes to get to the station where we're supposed to take the train to Komaba Todai. Also took the safest route, meaning took too many turns in how many corners. Too much for me to remember in one go. I have the smallest bicycle, though.:3

Then went shopping at the nearest 100 Yen Shop. Bought a lot of cleaning materials since I have to clean the things senpai left me. Self-service. Bah. You have to put everything you bought in the plastic bag yourself.

Tried connecting to the Internet and woot! Here I am.  Still unfinished arranging the winter clothes from senpai, but I've pretty much arranged everything here in my room.

We're going to Komaba Campus tomorrow, which means we're going by train!;P Oh, and our Japanese Language Placement Test is tomorrow, too, so I have to review my Jap 10-12.

Ganbarimasu!(>o<)/